ADAMANT

Bruise Cruise

 Tired of Policy Seminars at Sea? 
     Surge into the sunset aboard
AmericanEnterpriseLines
         HMS HEGEMONIC
                                 (Nigerian Registry)

                         Glowing reports of
THE WEEKLY STANDARD'S
               previous cruises:

" Nassau :The water is turquoise, the houses ... cotton candy pink. How good..How interesting our cruisers are ... A Disney ship's horn played 'When You Wish Upon a Star '... William Kristol… and Fred Barnes… procured.. .magnetic bracelets to cure motion sickness… It's a good look.”
Tortola “ Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Turquoise water and tiny houses…
St. Martin A few dollars procured a wide variety of fruity, girly rum drinks...Then …the islands of adventure... and back to Fort Lauderdale...
Hubbard Glacier let a dog team pull you. View holy paintings of the Czarist days, visit recuperating eagles ...stroll... Ketchikan's red light district
Are only reinforced by the Log of this years  Voyage, already found floating in a bottle by Bermuda Triangle fisherfolk--

  
 

Carbon Neutral Commuting With Get Up And Go!

Tired of snippy comments about your Lear Jet ?

Disappointed with your Hummer's poor peanut oil mileage ?

Try the New Organic Saturn Vx

The Retro Rocket that makes Green commuting a blast from the past !

The 100% hydrogen & organic fueled Saturn Vx offers unbeatable time savings for busy carbon permit traders caught between the demands of congressional testimony , and the Rocky Mountain social whirl.

Forget the methylhydrazine guzzler Hollywood has  rolled out as a Segway alternative in The Astronaut Farmer. The refurbished first stage engines of his Sundance approved indy ICBM  run as well or better on renewable trans-fats as kerosene , and can whisk you and yours from  Aspen to Nairobi or Kyoto in 20 minutes without consuming a drop of fossil fuel.

Relax in recycled comfort, with full abort to lunar orbit capability and ample on-board room for valet parking personnel, pets , and au pairs.

Call your local Enron rep , and ask for a test drive today ! Free electric lunar golf cart included with 36 month lease.

 

The Redcoats aren't coming

Ruling that the heavily armed creatures are full of fluids , TSA officials have banned the sale of takeaboard  lobsters  at  Logan Airport

Interviewed on condition of anonymity at the Union Oyster House,a TSA gourmand reports : “ The ban on lobster travel represents no infringement of crustacean civil liberties.

As unreconstructed redcoats , lobsters remain subject to the Commonweath's Alien and Sedition Acts.The wearing of lobster bibs by passengers is also forbidden in keeping with the new DHS ban on cotton, hemp, and linen clothing . Such fabrics contain cellulose, which can be combined with nitrogen, an ingredient of airport air found in fertilizer bombs, to create guncotton. a deadly explosive which figured in Boer terrorist attacks in 1903."
SCARED WHITE  by the TSA's hair-raising ruling , a terrified lobster surrenders at Logan