ADAMANT

And Moab Is My Mosh Pit

From Howard Hampton's  mind bending review of Heavy Metal Islam, by sometime Stones pick- up guitarist  Mark LeVine:

"An ex-Mossad hairdresser is scarcely more anomalous than disheveled Moroccan riot grrrls, virtuoso Egyptian metalheads, Lebanese “muhajababes” (young women wearing full head scarves, army fatigues, tight black T-shirts and Hezbollah wristbands), Tupac-influenced Palestinian M.C.’s, “the Israeli Oriental death-doom metal band Orphaned Land”...and rapt Iranian Iron Maiden acolytes...In theocratic Iran, when Arthimoth’s leader wears a T-shirt reading “Your God Is Dead,” he’s risking a fate much worse than being suspended from school..."

In a thankfully unrelated development , the new Mayoress of Aberswyth , Wales ,
is threatening to end the town's 30 year  film ban on Monty Python's  Life Of Brian
Ms Sue  Jones-Davies played Judith Iscariot, in a nude scene with the film's hero, Brian, played by the late Graham Chapman.

"I got the part because somebody dropped out," she said. "I had the same agent as John Cleese and was recommended for the part.

Al Gore's Next Nobel !

       It's A Complete No Brainer :

If Nominated, You Will Be Served

Hat tip to The Cthulic League For Religious and Civil Rights Bill O'Donocthulhu prop.

  And Pharyngula -

The Don A. Cthulhu Show

A  so called 'biology' professor alleges that a cult at his university  holds a weekly cannibal feast , preceded two days in advance by  day long orgy of piscivory  termed  "Friday' that spares not even the flesh of the Great Tentacled One.

According to professor P.Z.Myers ,the cult's media avatars have  demanded his  dismissal  from the University of Minnesota, protesting his confusion of our  metaphysical rituals with the flesh and blood sacrifices of Miskatonic University's  Neo-Aztec student union, which has been threatening death by lutfisk or immersion in wasabi to any who dare desacrate their ritually correct cuisine. Their embryo free  eatery  was gutted last December as ovarian rights and  anti-abortion activists clashed over who would get to set fire to the  human eggnog at a New Year's Eve celebration.

Myers' vociferous campaign to wean acolytes from spiritual nourishment  by offering them unconsecrated shrimp crackers suggests  IQ testing of  giant squid has left him with a bad case of Cephalopod Tourette's Syndrome.

The league agrees with Bill O'Reilly that pending Myers sacrifice to The Great Tentacled One, the University Of Minnesota remove giant squid  from its faculty club menu,and desist from serving beef, pork, clams, horsemeat and soybean products during Hindu, Muslim, Jewish  and Pythagorean holidays and major rodeos.

Textured swan protein and whale steaks  produced in accordance with our alien masters stem cell research guidelines must replace these items on the menu, and  the club must freeze its caviar stocks until such time as the eggs can be fertilized  by the Sturgeon General.

Let me conclude by assuring Professor Myers that no mutant octopi were killed or injured in creating this podcast , and reminding  him that  I'm not  just the founder of the Tentacle Club For Men, I'm a customer.

 

Old Sheikh Coal

Alfred Tacke, CEO of the Essen energy giant Evonik Steag,  has the answer to Kuwait's enormous  around-the-clock electricity demand. It takes gigawatts to  keep  desert water desalination plants  running ,and  met the country's enormous air-conditioning needs.

Absent subsidies, nobody in the Persian Gulf is investing in solar cells, and no one is offering sandstorm-proof photovoltaic panels either.

Herr Tacke is in the coal-fired thermal plant business, and it is booming in the heart of the world's oil reserves

Harvard's Ringing Headache

 A century after The Thirty Years War wound down, Pennsylvania’s founding foundry received the order for what would become The Liberty Bell. Some few of those authorizing the hefty purchase ended up as Founders themselves, but  recently the Bell has  been subjected to exacting analysis, with intriguing results

Taken apart into atoms, bits of its metal have yielded an isotopic census of its component  elements. This geochemical equivalent of a DNA ‘ fingerprint ‘  reveals where much of  the two tons of bell metal originated, for each mining district has a  unique isotopic signature. The conclusion is clear-- the bell was not cast from virgin metal, which in colonial Philadelphia might mean pigs of Bristol copper and Cornish  tin. Mass spectrometry  tells instead that the  bell’s metal is a farrago, a burgoo, a blend of old coins and cannons and candlesticks, and above all, other bells,  recycling being the  great secrets of the founding founder’s art. After a century of hard use, even the soundest bells may crack, as old Liberty indeed did. Throughout history,  the bells hardest rung  have been the first to return to the melting pot.

To give birth to Liberty, some few old ship and church bells had to perish in 1751. Into the fiery furnace they went, to be leavened with bronze scrap ranging from worn-out  King George cartwheel pennies, to burst bronze cannons, bent barber’s bowl’s dinged baptismal basins and  such lesser vessels as chamber pots and ale cans dented past repair by a tinker’s dam.

Along with tin traceable to Sir Walter Raleigh’s term as Warden Of The Stanneries , the great bell cast in 1751 represents copper sheathing from stranded British Men O’War,  lead   European  cathedral roofs,  Persian and Andalusian brass, a pinch of debased Roman silver, a dash of  Byzantine and African gold, and enough arsenic of unknown origin -- having just one isotope, there's no telling whence the toxic stuff was mined -- to assure that the  EPA will forever keep the  Liberty Bell  from being turned into souvenir spoons and  shot glasses. Many historic bells have faced worse indignities .

One of Stalin’s first acts on coming  to power  was to silence the loudest Christian  voice  in Moscow. Down came the 13^th century Danilov Monastery's whole 33 ton carillon , including the nine-foot Bolshoi  bell,  a  26,000 pound 19^th century monster  revered for its special ‘diction’ -- bright and high overtones with velvety ’ Mother Earth” low ones are  rare in bells of such massive weight. Wreathed around its nine yard circumference in Old Church Slavonic is the dedication: “Father Archimandrite Iona and the donation of merchant’s wife Anastasia Sergeevna Zakharova for the repose of her late lamented husband Ioann, a servant of God.” The two other leading bells are the Polieny,  which weighs 365 poods (about 6 tons if you must know), and the Weekday , marked  131 poods : 1790.

 They were saved from the melting pot by Charles R. Crane, an American diplomat of independent means who bought them for his alma mater. Installed  in the tower of Lowell House four generations ago, they rang through war and peace, awakening Harvard each Sunday, at the decorous hour of 1 PM, with  changes rung by  a self-propagating society of hardy, if somewhat deaf, Lowell House klappermeisters.

  The story of the bells' migration dates to 1929, when Crane learned Harvard planned a 214 foot clock tower  atop it  newest and largest undergraduate residence, the  masterpiece of  Silent Cal’s architect  cousin, Charles Allerton Coolidge. Crane  reasoned correctly that  President Lowell would have to be bats not to convert it to a belfry, if presented with a whole carillon of clarion bronze, for  Lowell had a deep interest in bells, his library of  rare books including  De Tintinnabulis by  16th century Master Caster  Hieronymus Magius.

Crane, who  served President Wilson at the Versailles Conference, was appointed the US minister to China, but resigned his post on Harding’s election  and  set out  to journey home by private car via  the Trans-Siberian  Railway. Passing through Harbin, he chanced on his friend, the Byzantine archaeologist Thomas Whittemore, and traversing the steppes, was moved by the mysterious and compelling sounds of the Russian bells heard as his train passed through  Rostov in the night. Later that year, with  Crane’s backing, Whittemore  founded “The Committee for the Education of Russian Youth in Exile in Europe,” a program to assist White Russian йmigrйs, one of whom later told him that the Danilov bells faced extinction.

In May 1930, the Byzantinist cabled The Soviet Union Combine for Export and Import of Antiquaries and Art Goods (known as “Antiquariat”) from Berlin, and wired Crane’s personal affairs manager, instructing him to “Ask University transfer by cable $10,000 to Guaranty Trust Co New York.”  It wasn’t Harvard’s money--Whittemore used Crane’s pseudonym “University” in his cable traffic lest the  Kremlin discover  the diplomat's involvement in the transaction. But his cover broke on March 9, 1931, when Time magazine got wind of the deal, and put the musical rescue mission  on the cover.

Besides tolling in grief, celebration , and alarm-- in my memory the  loudest on the night the Berlin Wall fell, the  bells of what some once presumed to style Moscow on the Charles also rang in Stolzhynetsyn’s honorary Doctorate. But they are coming down this week. After 78 years of refuge here, these  iconic Russian bells will return ,one hopes permanently, to their former  home --the Danilov  Monastery is once again the seat of the Russian Orthodox Church .

A Harvard press release explained the deal thus  :

“While recognizing that the bells legally belong to Harvard, the more than 700-year-old Danilov Monastery, now the headquarters of the Russian Orthodox Church, has made formal and informal requests for their return over the past 20 years. An agreement between Harvard and the church, reached in... 2003, stipulated that the Danilov Bells would be relinquished by the University in exchange for a set of replacement bells. The Link of Times Foundation, dedicated to the restoration of Russian arts and culture, has financed the replacement bells... As the project to return the bells brought a new era of cultural relations between Lowell House and the Danilov Monastery, Harvard bell ringers traveled to Russia to train, and Russian bell experts held master classes in bell ringing at Lowell House.

“Today our team of bell ringers produces a rich, layered sound that is more beautiful than ever,”  [Lowell House Master] Eck says. “We have grown to love these old bells, but we are happy to see them return to their Russian home, and look forward to welcoming their replacements.”

Many of the big guns Napoleon abandoned on his retreat from Moscow ended up in the melting pot, the cannons’ roar transformed into the eternally rolling voice of a thousand Orthodox churches. But when the revolution came, back into the melting pot many of the carillons went, the Reds preferring a Russia poor in  bells , but rich in bronze statues celebrating themselves. Yet what goes around comes around. 

Harvard’s 33 ton trade-in has given it a new set,  wrought  in no small part from the smelted heads of a horde of dead Bolshevik.  Having once given  voice to God ,the metal in which they were briefly immortalized has been  melted down yet again into the very octave Stalin's Kremlin most feared to hear.

Ask for whom Harvard's new  thirteen ton  bell will toll when the mass of bronze is hoist into its vantage and the answer will be uncountable Lenins , four score and seven Stalins,  far too many Trotskys , a leavening of Brezhnev’s, and Kruschevs and the odd Iron Feliks, Lysenko and Malenkov. That’s why Harvard’s few and proud conservatives can scarcely restrain our reactionary glee on seeing  the eight hundred pound  beam of quilted iron that  sits in the Lowell house courtyard,  ready to spend the next century, or three,  clapping Vladimir, Leon,  and  Uncle Joe smack in their collective teeth.

So if you’re in Cambridge of a Sunday afternoon and the spirit moves you, get out your ear plugs and  drop by Lowell House  to give the  klappermeisters a hand. Let freedom ring.