Tired of paying for recycled exegesis?
.....Why incur the discomfort of a Mormon missionary position or the tedium of becoming a .....Functional Vegan, Thetan, or Theosophist?
Forget feeble imitations of The Book Of Moroni & the Sacred Scrolls of Scientology, ( Now including the Favored Novel of aspirant Mormon First Citizen of the Republic, Mitt Romney) The All Is Vanity Press offers something on a different
Now you can help Co-author the unwritten last word
in interactive encyclopedic religions:
The Golden Tabloids of Elron
Still lying undiscovered in an upstate New York root cellar , this expansive sacred text is available for rewriting by YOU ! In accordance with the the Wikipedia's democratic principles , the Book Of Elron tm is open to online editing by theological tyros and worthy Divines alike. Now you too can escape literary obscurity, however well deserved.
NO TITHE NECESSARY !
Just pay by the word in advance to expand the new scripture as the Spirit moves you.
But how can the Elect stop the Preterite from erasing your sacred words? And how does the Press intend to prevent literary pretenders from trying to out-chloroform each other in print?
It's easy ! Cleaving to the Pilgrim Fathers belief in prosperity as an outward sign of Grace, all revision rights to The Book of Elron (tm) will be sold to the highest bidder. No counteroffer is too high to be refused ! So revise early and often to avoid postdated Fatwas, assure scriptural currency, and maximize the cash flow of the Providentially ordained Syndics.
While the mother church of Scientology (TM) merely affords cash-rich Hubbardotalists ever higher levels of Cosmic Omnipotence, Familiars of The Golden Tabloids are assured perpetual indulgence to raise the ante ad libitum to guarantee the most Graceful final words ever rewritten on matters of eschatology and exegesis. To get the juggernaut rolling ,just send your deposits to instaurate The Elroid Gospel (tm) with:
...........The Book of Ergosis
Wherein is Illuminated the vexed Question of why there was Light , and not Something completely different ?
Just Send As Many Dollars As You Have Words to the PayPal account of Mnestheus@aol.com ,and lo, as by a miracle , ye shall see them in the Comments section below. Those preferring musical immortality may offer hymns by remitting a dollar a note to our sister institution, The Bourbon Tabernacle Choir at the same PayPal address.
Offer void in jurisdictions where impersonating a Deity is felonious.