WALKING THE PLANKTOS

Admiralty Lawyers Avast !
Here be a new Tort: Carbon Offset Piracy

The Black Spot stalks the carbon footprints of Planktos Corporation, last seen trying  to inflict a hotfoot on the shoes of the fisherman.

Climateer reports the scalawags may have added a new misdemeanor to the annals of Admiralty Law : Carbon Offset Piracy. Having promised more carbon uptake by seawater than could plausibly  be delivered by shoveling rust over the transom of the cockleshell research vessel that is the main asset of the Enterprise, this merry crew has made off with the corporate flagship.

The yacht Weatherbird II possibly purchased with proceeds from scamming  the faithful into greening the Vatican , has sailed out of sight of its creditors'

Hence Climateer is asking :

Is Something Very Wrong With Planktos?
Planktos is thirteen days past the date on which their 3rd quarter financials were due at the Securities and Exchange Commission. This is odd for a few different reasons. 1) The company has no revenues...2) Planktos has moved its only tangible asset, the good ship Weatherbird II, outside of U.S. jurisdiction. The boat is carried on the balance sheet at $796,727... PLKT also showed a $797,194 receivable, probably not from operations (they have no sales)...

The marine saga continues-- Last week the Spanish papers reported Weatherbird II had hightailed it for High Barbaree, Agadir to be exact, but now she is in Madeira, having been refused entry at Las Palmas on a claim of medical emergency due to , you guessed it,  plankton poisoning.

The most recent account from the Spanish Mainsteam press, in   El Publico, says Cap'n George wants the EU & Spain to pay Planktos to investigate the "Cigatura Crisis " it claims to have discovered  en route to nowhere.  Is this  El Ultimo Suspiro Del Alabatroz , or will the conversion of cutlass rust into Sargasso blossom into the Treasure of the Indies ? The smart as paint money is laying two doubloons to a pottle of grog that these lascaradoes will end up keelhauled.

POSTSCRIPT 19 December:
Before the Securities & Exchange Inquisition could locate a comfy chair, or His Spanish Majesty's Admiralty a handy yardarm, Planktos  announced it would attend to Suspending Operations itself.

3 January: They seem to have deep sixed their obligation to The Vatican

Stay tuned - they may yet be seen sailing in company  with the gonzo French Nobel laureate who believes in the biological transmutation of iron into manganese?  There be a  process promising great riches in  synergy with cold fusion, as the two might convert ironic phytoplankton into manganese nodules .

Technetium fertilization futures may be the Next Big Thing--a boiling Strangelove Ocean full of mutant squid could revolutionize  carbon permit trading strategies--there is always business in great waters.
.........................They had a plan too>

Comments

[Climateer]

I count four turns of phrase (in the first 37 words!) which I, with jocundity aforethought, shall purloin:
1)"Walking the Planktos"
2) "Here be a new tort: Carbon offset piracy."
3)"...a hotfoot on the shoes of the Fisherman"
And the erudite R.L. Stevenson ref.,
The Black Spot.

I, like Gladstone, could find myself staying up 'til two with Jim and Smollet and Silver.
"Join in the chantey and grab a draught!"

RESPONSE
A jocular keelhauling may sober the scurvy Climateer-
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