..Half Of Globe Inundated, Hordes Left Stranded As
Sea Level Rises 20 Feet After Bali Conference Eruption
Antarctica and many Pacific Island nations disappeared Friday after the Performance Artist Formerly Known As The Former Next President exploded
from his collar at a UN conference on Fast Food & Climate Change. The wardrobe malfunction occurred as he was attempting to metabolically sequester carbon from a supersized dessert.
The icing cake responsible for the catastrophe, traced to EcoAction des Patisseries De Versailles, depicts a rain forest village being razed to stop slash and burn palm oil cultivation, and assure sustainable production Of Fair Trade coffee for future UNESCO conferences.
The explosion wiped out the conference's carbon neutral food stalls, but Endangered Species Pavilion officials averted the treat of cannibalism among starving climate modelers and diplomats by allowing them to eat the exhibits raw to avoid greenhouse emissions
Among those complaining they were not allowed to eat cake were these "International Climate Science Coalition scientists ...
Viscount Monckton ( spokesman)
Vincent Gray (IPCC Expert Reviewer)
David Evans (Carbon Cycle Modeller / Rocket Scientist)
David Archibald (Climate Scientist / Solar Effects)
William Alexander (Engineering Scientist)
Greg Balle (Executive Director / Geophysical Flows)"
Some edifying excerpts from the climate and rocket science websites of the I.C.S.C.'s icy esquires :
Greg Balle :
"New Zealand Libertarianz Finance Spokesman,"
" I am a New Zealand based Consulting Engineer specialising in hydropower, power systems [ gas and coal ] and markets. ".
David Evans Associates "provides expertise in site applications, survey and mapping, site civil development, and right-of-way appraisals and negotiations for siting gas- and coal-fired power generation facilities."
No ants or icebergs were killed or injured in producing this post-conference postscript