A minor masterpiece of tinfoil pith helmet journalism graces National Review's online roundup of reasons to invade Iran today. It claims nefarious mullahs " make entire native tribes in Venezuela and Columbia convert to Shi'ia Islam."
This is the anthropological wisdom not of Carlos Castanada, but Gustavo Coronel, who thinks the rise of internet cafes on the Guajira peninsula proof positive Hezbollah will jihadify Wayuu tribal villages better known for blowgun darts than WiFi reception:
"The Hezbollah group invading Venezuela...are disseminating, via Internet, a strategy "to change Venezuela," :
* Attacking the upper classes, "who are the most corrupt," all white-collar criminals and continuing the cleaning downwards,
* Attacking corruption in government and in the masses, both civilians and military,
* Attacking false idols and satanic cults, as defined by them.
* Total destruction "of the sex industry."
As no word of Wayuu appears on the Spanish language Hezbollah website Coronel cites, and the only book available in any Guajiro language is the New Testament, speculation abounds that while exploring magical realism's native jungles for a dervish to interview, Coronel may have run instead into some Wayuu shaman's famously terrifying arsenal of hallucinogenic snuffs. The short lifetime of those dangerous drugs would explain the retiree newsletter publisher recovering sufficiently in the space of a few paragraphs to add:
"Is the Venezuelan Hezbollah for real or is just the product of pranksters with a macabre sense of humor? ...This ghoulish presence in Venezuelan territory certainly deserves an immediate investigation and decisive action, if true...if the country is to be saved from ...turning into a work of horror, something out of Edgar Allan Poe's House of Usher or of H.P. Lovecraft's most morbid fiction... Neanderthal-like bureaucrats...in a Stalinist-type...decree "expropriating" the golf courses."
Unfortunately, this confession came too late for the attention span of AEI Senior Fellow Michael Rubin, who sold the tale to NR and other blogs
In case NR dismantles its jungle gym, the legend lives on at Jihad Watch:
Hizballah in Venezuela
On the heels of Venezuelan leader Hugo Chávez's recent trip Syria, and amid his ongoing vocal support for Iran as well, Hizballah has been found to be working openly in Venezuela, website (hosted by MSN, as well as a Yahoo! Group) and all. From Gateway Pundit:
Gustavo Coronel at Venezuela Today has proof that Hezbollah is working openly with the tribe of the Wayuu on the Venezuelan side of the Guajira Peninsula:
They are indoctrinating the members of this tribe, to convert them into Islamic fanatics in charge of disseminating the terrorist message that has already created chaos, death and misery in the Middle East.
The Hezbollah group invading Venezuela is doing its work openly in the Venezuelan side of the Guajira Peninsula. They are disseminating, via Internet, a strategy "to change Venezuela," including:
* Total destruction "of the sex industry"...
It would be fine to see that go, except that it would be a pyrrhic victory at the price of instituting Sharia law in Venezuela, similar to the price at which the Taliban brought "law and order" in Afghanistan.