BIBLICALLY CORRECT COSMOLOGY
Though Kentucky's Creation Museum aims to enlighten those "Perplexed by continual 'millions of years' stories'...with a biblical perspective on 'ape-men' ... 'evolution', dinosaurs, the origin of life...", it features a “walk through history” that ends on Satan's doorstep in a planetarium from Hell!
Parents beware ! Beneath this Planetarium Of The Apes, Satan twitches his claws. Why would a Bible-believing family museum want to shanghai innocent children onto a "starship ride billions of light years away ? "
"Billions of light years " indeed ! God-fearing educators should rely instead on Adamant's Biblically Correct Geochronology based on the dating of Creation to ~4004 BC by noted Revelation scholar & alchemist Sir Isaac Newton, whose best-seller Opticks underpins our new and improved Theory Of Everything:
............ .Biblically Compact Cosmology
The BCC Theory Of Everything applies the rigorous equation D=2R to the scientifically impeccable premise that it takes light a year to travel a light year. As the radius of the Universe R, equals the number of light years since Genesis: ~4004BC+2007AD =6,011*, the B.C.C.T.O.E. concludes that surely as Numbers follows Leviticus, The Universe must be 12,022 light-years across !
Astrophysicists can breathe easy:
Adamant's B.C.C.T.O.E. is 100% inflationary !
As light zaps outward from the formerly dark face of the waters here in Creation's center, the universe grows one light year larger every six months like clockwork. This assures the theory's endorsement by pro-watchmaker peer reviewers at The Discovery Institute, The Rush Limbaugh Show, The Weekly Standard, and quality NewsCorp science journals from coast to coast.
The Good News about light taking just 12,022 years to traverse the the whole shebang is that volume of The Biblically Correct Universe scarcely exceeds a trillion cubic light-years. The wonderfully modest cube root of this figure puts the stars only one thousandth of a light year apart-- just a billion miles or two, making interstellar travel a present reality, as every space probe launched since Star Trek The Movie must by now have left hundreds of stars astern-- proof positive that Almighty Providence approves of NASA's 'Faster, Better, Cheaper' program.
The solar system's accelerating capture of new stars should facilitate missionary efforts by Scientologists, Latter Day Saints, and Evangelicals alike, and abash those who blame the sun for global warming --the real culprit is plainly the superabundance of variable stars in the neighborhood.
Who needs CO2? With ten trillion stars closer to Earth than Proxima Centauri, new supernovae appearing hourly in broad daylight should precipitate global warming of Biblical proportions. While the results of applying the virial theorem to the BCCTOE universe are too scary for publication in a family oriented blog, Discovery Institute astrophysicists may wish to do the dimensional analysis for themselves.
* Not counting the Year Zero, which, being non-existent, is hard to subtract.