Gore In The Caribbee As Biofuel Crisis Saps Rum Stocks
Gasohol demand in the Corn Belt has already shrunk Mexican waistlines and now another Southern neighbor is feeling the pinch. Beer still flows freely in St. Vincent and the Grenadines, but the annual lime shortage induced by tourist girly drink demand has given way to a real supply crisis .
Outbid by gasohol plants, St. Vincent's overproof rum distillery has shut down for lack of molasses deliveries, and 169 proof Sunset Rum, and Jack Iron , the even more formidable firewater out-island moonshiners produce , have vanished from general stores throughout the Grenadines, leaving only the ever unpopular 80-proof brand, Captain Bligh.
Ordinarily , a shipload of Guyanan molasses is delivered for distillation in St.Vincent twice each year, but the boatload ordered in January failed to materialize. Though fuel-alcohol molasses shipping from Guyana has continued, as of last week, a source in Kingstown reports , Sunset's ship has not come in because the distillery's molasses factor in Demerara has been unable to find one.
Seeking to exploit this disaster, foreign agents are trying insinuate a watery liquid called Havana Club into the punch that is the
Grenadines most vital bodily fluid, though the concoction is grossly unfit for use as outboard
motor fuel and can barely sustain the metabolism of pirate film extras.
Worse, in a scene more ominous for regional diplomacy than Hugo Chavez sniffing for
brimstone at the UN, high-sulfur residual rum from
Venezuela has been offered yachtsmen on Petit Martinique ,causing them to flee upwind to the heavily fortified wine cellars of Mustique.
The scene of
Pirates Of The Caribbean
has run out of serious rum !