If Kim Jong-il seems hopping mad, it's because
He ate the Easter Bunny
His pride and joy, Robert der Grosse, the largest rabbit in recorded Prussian history , is missing and believed dead in North Korea.
The 23 1/2 pound uberbunny was sent to Pyongyang last year along with 11 others "with the aim of setting up a breeding program to alleviate famine, " but they ended up on the table at Dear Leader Kim Jong-il's February 16 birthday banquet.
According to Der Spiegel , Brandenburg's 68-year-old Meisterkaninchenzüchter was due to travel to North Korea to set up the farm, but received a call last week from a DPRK official canceling the trip.
"North Korea won't be getting any more rabbits from me, they don't even need to bother asking " Szmolinsky said.
The Berlin embassy of the diminutive Hermit Kingdom Hasenpfepper fiend issued a denial of the alleged lepicide.
Herr Smolinsky's German Giant Greys can produce upwards of seven kilograms of meat, and keen to alleviate hunger in the impoverished country, he gave the North Koreans a 150 Euro per rabbit discount off the usual €200 to 250 price. He had earlier told Spiegel Online. "I've sent them 12 rabbits so far, they're in a petting zoo for now."
Absent the orgy of lagomorphagy, the 12 could have produced 60 bunnies a
year if fed properly. " I
feed them everything-- grain, carrots, a lot of cabbages. At the
moment they're getting kale," said Szmolinsky of his 50 surviving charges. Asked if he has any pets he
could never part with, he replied: " You can't hang on to them... They cost a lot to feed."