Not a word of protest from consumer advocates that , contrary to all the Truth In Advertising laws so far enacted , the makers of "EnviroKidz Gorilla Munch"
breakfast cereal have flagrantly neglected to incorporate either namesake ingredient into their best-selling primate chow.
Were the culpable marketing department fired en masse , the cost saving might serve to remedy the product's other nutritional deficiency- it is gluten as well as child and bush meat free , and silverbacks need protein aplenty to muster the energy needed to chastise cannibalistic youngsters , and drive off spear-throwing forest chimpanzees.
At present , the bullet points on the Gorilla Munch box do not reveal if the "1% of sales donated to wildlife" enrich the simian merchants of death purveying spears to bellicose bonobos or pongid touts bent on guiding National Geographic readers to take snapshots of Bonzo's grandkids or gorillas trying to get some shuteye ? It's enough to make a mandrill weep blood diamonds.