The Green Revolution Eats Its Children

Not a word of protest from consumer advocates that ,  contrary to all the Truth In Advertising  laws so far  enacted , the makers of "EnviroKidz Gorilla Munch" breakfast cereal  have flagrantly neglected to incorporate either namesake ingredient into their  best-selling  primate chow.

Were the culpable marketing department fired en masse , the cost saving might serve to remedy the product's other nutritional deficiency- it is gluten as well as child and bush meat free , and silverbacks  need protein aplenty to muster the energy needed to chastise cannibalistic youngsters ,  and drive off spear-throwing forest chimpanzees.

At present , the bullet points on the Gorilla Munch box do not reveal if the "1% of sales donated to wildlife" enrich the simian merchants of death purveying  spears to bellicose bonobos or pongid touts bent on guiding National Geographic readers to take snapshots of  Bonzo's grandkids or gorillas trying to get some shuteye ?  It's enough to make a mandrill weep blood diamonds.

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