Incandescent Gore Erupts On Capitol Hill

Former Next President and perennial candidate for Imperial Planetologist  Al Gore , here shown modeling the asbestos union suit of his alter-ego , Underdog , startled astronomers yesterday by telling a Capitol Hill audience that the surface  of Venus is :

" hotter than boiling lead , and it rains sulfuric acid."

If true, the caped crusader's Nobel Peace Prize candidacy may turn into a  revisionist run for the chemistry and physics medals, as those reactionary discipline, maintain CO2 has warmed Venus barely to the toxic metal's 622 F melting point , well short of the 3,180 degrees at which it boils , or even the temperature of the Vice President's Nashville swimming pool.

As CSPAN watchers dozed , not even the Hon. James Inhofe , Senator from the great lead mining state of Oklahoma , challenged the authority of the Tennessee lead-zinc mining magnate ,and sulfuric acid lobbyists failed to protest that acid rain keeps the sultry planet's polar temperatures hovering in the balmy 500's much of the year.